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Change To Benefit Your Marriage

Marriages that are healthy and happy are continually improving and growing.  Improvement and growth happens through change.  The questions below focus on change in order to strengthen your marital satisfaction

1.  In your view, how have you changed since you got married?

2.  Which of these changes are positive and which are negative?

3.  Which of the changes have enhanced your marital enjoyment together?

4.  What one thing would you like to change about your own behavior?

5.  How can your spouse help you achieve that goal?

6.  What one habit or behavior could your spouse change that would make life more pleasant for you?

7.  What positive behavior can you suggest to replace this behavior or habit that needs to be changed?

 Today: Discuss these questions with your spouse and change to benefit your marriage.  

 SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS, released December 2019, will make a great Christmas gift for married friends, children, grandchildren, parents, and other family members.  Please share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram the December release of SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL – Practical Skills and Tools That Build a Strong SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP.  

Please also “SUBSCRIBE” on my website, www.DrRandySchroeder.com,  for future newletters and information about SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS.  See past blog posts under WEEKLY WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

7 Key Spousal Self-evaluation Questions

 Two Giving spouses produce a satisfying, rewarding relationship but one taker can break the marital happiness connection.  Evaluate how well you do Giving by answering the 7 Key Spousal Self-evaluation Questions below. 

1.         When was the last time I initiated a kiss?

2.         When was the last time I initiated a hug?

3.         When was the last time I initiated an “I love you”?

4.         When was the last time I complimented my spouse?

5.         When was the last time I said, “Please” or “Thank you”?

6.         When was the last time I gave my spouse any kind of physical touch?

7.         When was the last time I demonstrated a small loving action toward my spouse?

Today: Answer the 7 spousal self-evaluation questions and commit to making improvements where needed.  

SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS, released December 2019, will make a great Christmas gift for married friends, children, grandchildren, parents, and other family members.  Please share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram the December release of SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL – Practical Skills and Tools That Build a Strong SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP.  

Please also “SUBSCRIBE” on my website, www.DrRandySchroeder.com,  for future newletters and information about SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS.  See past blog posts under WEEKLY WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

 

MONDAY MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

Similar to the wisdom of Proverbs, every Monday I will share a practical wisdom quote.  I pray this quote will make a difference in your personal life and relationships.  

Monday, July 15, 2019

“I want the kind of marriage that makes my kids want to get married.”  Emily Werenga

SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS Released Dec. 2019

I am very happy to announce that my Christian marriage book, SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS, will be released December 2019.  SIMPLE HABITS are the keys to a lasting, loving marriage!

These short lessons, each one easily read in less than five minutes, will build a vibrant, rewarding relationship that becomes more fulfilling every year.  The seven chapters cover every aspect of your marriage so you are able to strengthen your present positive words and behaviors as well as repair troubling parts of your relationship.

These Successful Habits Will Boost Your Marital Satisfaction By Helping You . . . . . . .

*          Learn the healing essentials of apologizing and forgiving for life-long harmony

*          Implement the four practical habits that strengthen your marital bond

*          Increase your spiritual and emotional closeness

*          Build an enjoyable relationship with communication skills that connect you together

*          Apply the “guards” that protect and enhance your marriage

*          Keep the “bond of peace” with guidelines that lead to respectful disagreement discussions

*          Develop God-pleasing financial unity

SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS will make a great Christmas gift for married friends, children, grandchildren, parents, and other family members.

Today:  Please share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram the December release of SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS – Practical Skills and Tools That Build a Strong SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP.   

Please also “SUBSCRIBE” on my website for future newletters and information about SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS.  See past blog posts under WEEKLY WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

 

7 Qualities of a Polite Spouse 

Two spouses that are extra-polite create a positive, happy marriage.  The best part about being polite – politeness is within our control.  One of the best ways to care and value our spouse is to be extra-polite.  Shown below are 7 goals for attaining politeness. 

1.  On a regular basis give sincere, positive compliments.

2.  Be courteous and considerate by regularly using “please,” “thank you,” and “you are welcome.”

3.  Ask questions to express an interest in your spouse.

4.  Never interrupt and let your spouse finish speaking.

5.  Avoid being a “C” spouse by regularly not complaining, criticizing, and correcting.

6.  Smile frequently rather than wear a constant frown.

7.  When speaking use a pleasant, encouraging tone so your spouse feels nurtured and special.

Today:  Implement these 7 politeness qualities along with what you have found to help your spouse feel loved. 

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  Please also “SUBSCRIBE” on my website for future newletters and information about my Christian marriage book.  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

10 Questions To Assess Marital Abuse

Marital abuse is the silent sin that causes damaging emotional and/or physical pain in too many relationships.  Abuse in marriage involves a persistent pattern of behaviors to exercise control, power, and entitlement.  There are six types of abuse:  emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial, and time.  Shown below are just a few questions to assess possible abuse in a marital relationship.

1.  Do you feel like you have to “walk on egg shells” to keep your spouse from getting angry?

2.  Does your spouse criticize many things that you do?

3.  Does your spouse isolate you by trying to cut you off from family and friends?

4. Are you compliant because you are afraid to hurt your spouse’s feelings?

5.  Does your spouse give you the silent treatment to punish you?

6.  Is your spouse hypersensitive and easily insulted?

7.  Are you frightened by your spouse’s temper?

8.  Does your spouse blame you for their anger?

9.  Does your spouse do everything to win an argument?

 10.  Does your spouse rant about injustices that are just part of life?

Today:  I pray that you are able to answer “no” to all these questions.  If you answered “yes” to a question(s) and have concerns for your personal well-being and marriage seek help from a professional. 

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  Please also “SUBSCRIBE” on my website for future newletters and information about my Christian marriage book.  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

14 Ways To Value Your Spouse On Valentine’s Day

The number “7” in the Bible stands for completeness, perfection, or wholeness.  This Valentine’s Day, complete your relationship and make your connection perfectly wholesome and satisfying.

Tomorrow, value your spouse and help them feel special without spending any money.  Shown below are 14 money free ways to love your spouse. 

1.  Hold your spouse’s hand for at least 7 minutes.

2.  Leave a love note.

3.  Hug your spouse 7 different times.

4.  Tell your spouse the internal attribute that you appreciate the most about them.

5.  Smile at your spouse 7 different times.

6. Share with your spouse your best day ever together.

7. Enjoy discussing with your spouse your favorite mini-vacation or vacation.

8.  Look into each other’s eyes for 7 minutes.

9.  Share a romantic memory with your spouse.

10.  Complete this sentence with your spouse, “I feel loved and valued by you when . . . . .

11.  Give your spouse 7 kisses.

12.  Share with your spouse the first time you felt emotionally close.

13.  Plan and set a date for a special future time together.

14.  Compliment your spouse in a specific way with the words, “I appreciate . . . . .

Tomorrow On Valentine’s Day:  Commit to implementing 7 of the 14 ways listed, or utilize your own loving ways, and help your spouse feel really loved on this special day!

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

 

7 Ways To Find A Healthy Spouse

One of the most important decisions a person will make in life is selecting a future spouse.  Unfortunately, numerous spouses just choose the wrong partner and the result is divorce.  I estimate that 80% to 85% of the time a divorce happens because one spouse is deeply flawed and demonstrates extreme unhealthy thinking and/or behaviors. 

No matter your age, if you are single, shown below are 7 ways to find that healthy spouse.

1.  Write down 15 qualities that you are seeking in a wholesome partner.

2.  Write down 5 intolerable flaws or deal breakers that you absolutely want to avoid in a future spouse.

3.  Avoid dating a person who needs “fixing.” “Fixes” rarely happen after the wedding day.

4.  Only date potential marriage partners. 

5.  Have your eyes wide open while dating, and then half closed after the wedding ceremony. 

6.  Date for at least 12 months or the four seasons so you fully know your potential spouse before getting engaged. 

7.  Recognize the flaws your future spouse possesses before marriage, will be to a greater degree after the wedding day. 

 This Week:  Write down 15 qualities and 5 intolerable flaws so you have your list when you begin the dating process.    

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

 

7 Foundational Aspects Of Your Marriage That Are Essential

I have had spouses, pastors, and even other counselors ask what I believe are the foundational aspects that matter the most for a gratifying marriage.  Counseling and written materials that provide skills and tools in 7 major areas can help build a strong, wholesome relationship for lifelong marital happiness.   

When couples are effective in the 7 essential components shown below, the probabilities for a gratifying relationship are significantly increased. 

1.  Expectations: Very simply, expectations will either create a strong emotional connection or deep disappointment and hurt.  Whenever a couple is satisfied in their relationship, the simple reason is expectations are being met.  Whenever a couple is disappointed in their marriage, expectations are not being fulfilled.  

2. Disagreement Discussion Guidelines: Disagreements are natural occurrences in happy marriages.  Couples in satisfying relationships certainly have disagreements—but they rarely have fights, arguments, and conflicts.  So a disagreement is never the problem, it is how a couple handles a disagreement while finding a solution.

3.  Apologizing and Forgiving: The Bible has nearly 125 references to the importance of forgiveness for interpersonal relationships. When spouses have the momentous goal to apologize and forgive one another for marital hurts or sins that substantially improves the chances for a gratifying relationship. 

 4.  Finances:  70% of couples fight over finances.  Couples need a budget and financial guidelines to produce financial harmony.

5. Communication: Words and behaviors can either build up or tear down a relationship.  Couples need basic skills for improving daily communication in both verbal and physical aspects of a relationship. 

 6.  Boundaries:  Healthy couples set limits with unhealthy behaviors.  Those “guards” make a significant difference in generating a satisfying relationship.

 7.  Faith Life:  Worshiping on a regular basis, praying at meals, and simply praying together for blessings, the needs of others, or personal requests of almighty God can strengthen a relationship. Striving to please God usually leads to healthy behaviors and nurturing words. 

 This Week:  Discuss with your spouse what steps you can take together to strengthen or improve your relationship in all 7 major aspects of a marriage.    

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life