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10 Ways To Encourage Your Spouse

Perhaps the best synonym for love is value.  One of the best ways to value your spouse is to continually build them up through praise and affirming actions.  Daily encouragement overcomes the disease of complacency.  Shown below are ideas for honoring and esteeming your spouse.

1.  Be a living example of Godliness.

2.  When a mistake is made be quick to forgive because both of you will disappoint one another at times.

3.  Remember “little things” mean a lot so initiate quick kisses, touches, hand holding, etc.

4.  Initiate a surprise “date night.”

5.  Smile regularly and laugh with your spouse

6.  Begin thinking about a special way to celebrate your next anniversary and share your ideas with your spouse.

 7.  Respect your spouse’s opinion even though it may be different than your perspective. 

 8.  Never let a day go by without saying, “I appreciate . . . “

 9.  Place a “love note” on your spouse’s car seat, under their pillow, their purse or briefcase, etc.

 10. Be a “massage therapist” to lift your spouse’s spirits when they are in a low mood.

Today:  Begin valuing spouse through these using these 10 ideas or your own beneficial marital designs.

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MONDAY MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

 

Similar to the wisdom of Proverbs, every Monday I will share a practical wisdom quote.  I pray this quote will make a difference in your personal life and relationships.  

 “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.”  Leo Tolstoy

MONDAY MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

Similar to the wisdom of Proverbs, every Monday I will share a practical wisdom quote.  I pray this quote will make a difference in your personal life and relationships.  

“Encourage and support your kids because children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.”  Lady Bird Johnson

10 Ways To Build Up Your Spouse  

Encouragement and affirmation are essential qualities for every spouse to possess.  It is important to seek ways to lovingly build up your spouse.  Shown below are 10 Ways to express regard and praise your spouse.

1.  Tell your spouse that you are proud to be their marriage partner.

2.  Talk often about things that your partner is interested in.

3.  Through your words and actions create a home atmosphere of peace and joy.

4.  Avoid being a “nag” or a “demanding boss.”

5.  Appreciate your spouse in one specific way each day.

6.  Let your partner know your expectations in a sensitive and loving manner.

7.  Never interrupt during a conversation.

8.  Take your spouse’s hand or arm when you walk together.

9.  Regularly show your partner your sense of humor.

10.  Never let a day pass without saying “I love you.”

Today:  Use one of these 10 Ways or create your own ideas for building up your spouse. 

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  Please also “SUBSCRIBE” on my website for future newletters and information about my Christian marriage book.  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

Monday Motivational Quotes

Similar to the wisdom of Proverbs, every Monday I will share a practical wisdom quote(s).  For President’s Day, I pray these seven presidential quotes will make a difference in your life.  

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.”  Thomas Jefferson

 “Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who make excuses.” George Washington

 “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln

  “Whatever you are, be a good one.”  Abraham Lincoln

 “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  Abraham Lincoln

 “Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God.” Ronald Reagan

 “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” John F. Kennedy

14 Ways To Value Your Spouse On Valentine’s Day

The number “7” in the Bible stands for completeness, perfection, or wholeness.  This Valentine’s Day, complete your relationship and make your connection perfectly wholesome and satisfying.

Tomorrow, value your spouse and help them feel special without spending any money.  Shown below are 14 money free ways to love your spouse. 

1.  Hold your spouse’s hand for at least 7 minutes.

2.  Leave a love note.

3.  Hug your spouse 7 different times.

4.  Tell your spouse the internal attribute that you appreciate the most about them.

5.  Smile at your spouse 7 different times.

6. Share with your spouse your best day ever together.

7. Enjoy discussing with your spouse your favorite mini-vacation or vacation.

8.  Look into each other’s eyes for 7 minutes.

9.  Share a romantic memory with your spouse.

10.  Complete this sentence with your spouse, “I feel loved and valued by you when . . . . .

11.  Give your spouse 7 kisses.

12.  Share with your spouse the first time you felt emotionally close.

13.  Plan and set a date for a special future time together.

14.  Compliment your spouse in a specific way with the words, “I appreciate . . . . .

Tomorrow On Valentine’s Day:  Commit to implementing 7 of the 14 ways listed, or utilize your own loving ways, and help your spouse feel really loved on this special day!

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7 Steps To Prevent An Affair

Of the marriages that I have seen end in divorce, I estimate that a third of the time an affair is the reason. Due to the newness and false passion with an affair partner, the marital couple often has little chance of restoring the relationship.  Shown below are 7 Steps to hopefully prevent an affair. 

1.  Understand that every spouse is capable of being unfaithful.  We read in the Bible that King David, “a man after God’s own heart,” committed adultery.

2.  You can never have 100% trust in your spouse.  From betrayed partners I have heard numerous times, “I thought my spouse was 100% trustworthy.”  The goal is always the upper 90th percentile but no partner ever achieves 100%. 

3.  Relationships are bank accounts with deposits and withdrawals.  With affair partners, there are almost no withdrawals.  Limit your innocent deposits with friends of the opposite sex. 

4.  Watch your social media deposits.  Text messages, emails, quick phone calls, etc. can easily lead to unfaithfulness.  Due to social media, I have actually seen affairs start with old friends in another state resulting in a divorce. 

5.  Never have any secrets in your marriage.  Secrets hurt relationships and affairs start in secrecy.

6.  Know your spouse’s passwords.  One of the best ways to overcome secrecy is to know each other’s passwords and make your cell phone and email an “open book.”

7.  In Proverbs 4:23, God tells spouses to “guard your thoughts.”  Continually be on your guard against words and behaviors that may lead to unfaithfulness.  

This Week:  Sit down with your spouse and discuss together the 7 steps to prevent an affair.  

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life

MONDAY MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

Begin your week with positive ideas and thoughts. Similar to the wisdom of Proverbs, every Monday I will share a practical wisdom quote.  I pray the quote will make a difference in your personal life and relationships.   

“When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it's like giving them emotional oxygen.”  Stephen Covey

15 Danger Signs A Marriage Is In Trouble

Not recognizing that a marriage is sick and needs outside help from a skilled marriage counselor, pastor, etc. is an “illness” that can easily destroy the oneness of a couple.  Usually before a divorce is even final, one or both partners have been “emotionally divorced” for period of time.

Hence, it is absolutely essential that couples understand the “sickness signs” that may create the slippery slope toward marital brokenness.  Although not an exhaustive list, shown below are 15 Danger Signs

 1.         Positive times together outside the home rarely occur.  In addition, when a couple spends time together, sadly much of that time is more negative than positive.

2.         One partner controls most aspects of the marriage.  The relationship is not a partnership because decisions are one-sided a majority of the time.

3.         Spouses seldom eat meals together which creates a “single mindset” more than a couple relationship.

4.         Politeness seems to have left the relationship, meaning kind words and compliments are rarely given by one or both spouses.

5.         When a hurt or disappointment occurs, an apology almost never happens and/or forgiveness is not given, building a “grudge wall” between the spouses.

6.         One spouse keeps secrets-financial, technology, relationships, passwords, etc.

7.         One spouse does most of the “giving,” while the other partner is more of a “taker.”

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8.         One spouse regularly overreacts to minor hurts or quickly becomes defensive when a suggestion is made. Such unhealthy sensitivity often leads to disrespectful arguments that escalate out of control.

9.         Physical touch like lengthy hugs and kisses are infrequent.  Sexual intimacy also rarely happens or is almost nonexistent.

10.       Sarcasm becomes common with hurtful teasing where one spouse is the butt of jokes.

11.       Complaints have become attacks made on a spouse’s character rather than the goal of correcting bothersome words or behaviors.

12.       One spouse is growing and improving, while the other partner lacks the desire to grow and maybe has even slid backwards in some ways.

13.       Opposite sex friendships develop and become stronger than the marital connection.

14.       One spouse has personal issues like anger, selfishness, addictions, OCD, compulsive spending, eating disorders, that have gotten worse over the years creating an emotional divide. 

15.       Communication skills have deteriorated into serious problems like interruptions, mind-reading, memory-matching, extreme silence, negative labeling, yelling, etc.

This Week:  Discuss with your spouse how to prevent the spread of these infectious danger signs in order to have a healthy, happy marriage. 

Enjoyed this post?  Like or share on Facebook and Twitter to spread the word!  See past blog posts under Practical Wisdom for Marriage, Parenting, and Life.

7 Signs You Are A Healthy Spouse

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. No spouse is perfect but evaluating these 7 signs can make a positive difference in marital happiness.

  1. You are better in every area of your marriage than the day you got married. You have a strong desire to improve and grow both as a person and a spouse on a daily basis.

  2. You are a giver. You give compliments, physical affection, offer encouragement, and very simply, say and do things often that value your spouse.

  3. You are agreeable and cooperative. You are easy to get along with, meaning, you are flexible, go with the flow, and not a control fanatic with decisions.

  4. You don’t “Have To.” You avoid Having To: compulsively shop; gamble; excessively drink alcohol; demonstrate irrational anger; compulsively use technology; etc.

  5. You are a girlfriend/boyfriend to your spouse every day. You never take your spouse for granted by continually winning your partner’s heart through positive words and actions.

  6. You plan time with your spouse. You don’t let your time together happen by chance but you schedule time daily and weekly with your partner.

  7. You are an apologizer and forgiver. You are willingly to admit when you make a mistake as well as forgive when your spouse apologizes to you.

TODAY:  Discuss with your spouse these 7 signs to assess where both of you desire improvement. 

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