Have A Politeness Month!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.  Ask yourself an important question:  “On a daily basis, how often do I use ‘Please,’ ‘Thank you,’ and ‘I appreciate’? Hopefully, your answer is frequently.  However, I believe that we too easily forget to go overboard on politeness with family and friends.

One way to recharge our relationships and even our attitude is by going overboard on politeness every day.  Daily using those three politeness phrases can create an “Attitude of Gratitude” in our hearts as well as enhance our relationships.

TODAY:  Begin the Politeness Monthly Challenge for June.  Set a daily goal to use one of those three politeness phrases with family members or friends.  In addition, set a daily goal to use a politeness phrase with an acquaintance or even stranger at the gas station, grocery store, etc. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Bake A Great Cake!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. If a cake tastes like vinegar, the most delicious icing in the world will not improve the taste.  Think of a cake as your personal life and a marriage like the icing.

I have counseled numerous couples that had a troubled relationship due to one spouse having a personal life that was not pleasant.  Surprisingly, those spouses often blamed the marriage rather than accepting responsibility for an unsavory cake.

The best marriage cannot create a happy life for either partner because one’s personal life must first be satisfying.  Hence, the goal is to focus on baking a great cake, in other words, having a pleasing personal life. Then, the satisfying icing on the cake will make a delicious combination.

Always remember, happiness is an inside job, not a relationship one.  Pour your energies into making yourself a better person, spouse, friend, parent, etc.

TODAY:  Determine what “ingredient,” meaning positive attribute(s) or behavior(s), will begin improving your personal life.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

YouTube Videos:  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.

Improve 1% Per Week

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Literally, every major accomplishment happens “one” at a time.  No individual or relationship ever got better all at once.  Improvement happens one day at a time, one compliment at a time, one minute of exercise at a time, one hug at a time, one phone call at a time, one action at a time, one kiss at a time, etc.

Most of us want immediate success in all areas of life but, of course, that is not realistic.  In counseling, I often suggest to individuals, couples, parents, and families, that a reasonable goal is one percent improvement per week or four percent per month.  Certainly, one percent per week doesn’t sound like much but at the end of a year that is 50% improvement as a person, spouse, parent, friend, etc.

TODAY:  Take “one” action that can begin the process of improving yourself as a Christian person.  In addition, take “one” action or say “one” sentence that will improve a relationship, whether a friendship, marriage, parent-child connection, co-worker association, etc.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

YOUTUBE VIDEOS:  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.

NEVER Stare In The Past!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. It is okay to GLANCE back BUT NEVER STARE in the PAST!  While driving, if you stare in your rear view mirror you will probably crash.  However, quickly glancing in your rear view mirror  to ensure no rear end collision makes sense.

When we fixate on the past we often experience regrets, guilt, and complacency which diminishes our joy and happiness in the present.  Frequently when “staring,” we also make numerous excuses about our circumstances today.  We blame, blame, blame, our parents, our teachers, the government, society, and even what happened to our family 75 to 150 years ago.

Such “past” excuse-thinking just produces one excuse after another and creates a lack of responsibility for one’s life today.  Unfortunately, too many individuals and groups in society are “staring in their rear view mirror” in order to blame the “past” on any or most of their problems today.

Staring in the past may also make us complacent about daily goals and future achievements.  We can become so content with past successes that we lose a healthy ambitious desire for personal growth or future accomplishments.

TODAY:  Say aloud, “I will never have a backward stare, instead, I will and I can live for today and the future!”

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Fact Based Decision-Making

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Over the course of our lives, all of us will make numerous mistakes.  Unfortunately, most of those mistakes were due to thinking with our "heart" rather than thinking with our "head."   In hindsight, we wish that we were wiser by looking at the objective facts.

When it comes to making decisions, this post is a friendly reminder for all of us to take the elevator from our heart to our head.  By evaluating the concrete facts in a "pro" and "con" fashion, we can increase the probabilities of making either the healthiest or correct choice with most decisions.

TODAY:  With significant decisions, use the "Rule of Three" by writing down three objective facts that support every important decision.  

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Have A Positive Vocabulary

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Empowering our mind is essential for a meaningful life and enjoyable relationships.  Life is just too short to waste time with unproductive, negative language.  Toxic words also hurt us mentally, emotionally, physically, as well as in our relationships.

A strong vocabulary includes phrases like, "I get to" help others; "I am choosing" to encourage others; "This is distressing NOT dangerous AND I can cope and handle every challenge"; "I will and I can" achieve my goals.

When we change our language for the better, we create an enthusiasm for life with a positive attitude for every situation and relationship.  For the word "crisis," the Chinese have two symbols, "danger" and "opportunity." With God's help, when we have a positive vocabulary we turn our challenges into opportunities.

TODAY:  Only have a positive vocabulary to be mentally strong and enhance relationships with others. (September 6, 2017)

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Have Honest, Beautiful Communication

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Sadly, I have frequently had a spouse tell me, “I just want to be totally open with all my thoughts and feelings.”   However, totally open communication can often be brutally blunt which devalues a spouse and damages a marriage.  For example, telling one’s spouse “that actress is stunningly beautiful” or “that actor is really handsome” is not only insensitive but vicious and almost heartless.

The opposite of brutally blunt is honest, beautiful communication, that is, lovingly sharing thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, wants, needs, with a sincere desire to strengthen a marital relationship. Our ultimate goal with family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and everyone, is to have Honest, Beautiful  Communication.

TODAY:  Let’s avoid being brutally blunt and make it our goal to have Honest, Beautiful Communication with everyone we speak with throughout this day and every day. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Focus On “Three” Daily Goals

On Wednesdays I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Enjoy your life journey by having a purpose for living every single day.  To live with a purpose develop the habit of incorporating “Three Goals.”  The wonderful “Three Goals” to include in your daily routine are: 1) an attitude of gratitude, 2) small, achievable tasks, and 3) serving others.

First, each day recognize what blessings or positives happened even if those good things are very minor. Second, happiness comes from doing and we need to pinpoint what we accomplished each day. Third, Christ came to serve and we follow His footsteps when we serve family members or friends or even strangers.

TODAY:  As your day concludes, identify at least three things for which you are grateful, three small tasks you achieved, and three ways you served others.  (May 24, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Judge But Never Be Judgmental

On Wednesdays I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Judging is an important skill for a healthy life and marriage.  Judging is assessing or evaluating a situation, ourselves, or an important relationship for the sake of improvement.  However, being judgmental is not healthy because the intention is rooted in malice, resulting in arrogance or a pompous spirit just for the sake of feeling superior over someone else.

Hence, it is healthy to regularly judge our personal words and behaviors.  Likewise, in a marriage, a partner may at times assess a spouse or relationship if the goal for that evaluation is improvement.

For example, if a spouse is an alcoholic or has explosive anger, evaluating the situation may correct that unhealthy behavior.  Unfortunately, an alcoholic or raging spouse will often defend themselves by telling their partner, “You are being judgmental.”  However, such an appraisal is not being “judgmental” but instead only an assessment of those unhealthy behaviors with a genuine motive for improvement.

TODAY:  Let’s assess our personal actions, and if married, evaluate our relationship in order to recognize aspects that may need growth and development.  (May 17, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Improve Life and Relationships: Try An Experiment

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Fear can paralyze us to not make any attempts to improve our lives and relationships.  The nineteenth-century theologian Soren Kierkegaard said, "To dare is to lose one's footing temporarily, to not dare is to lose one's life." So every improvement can only happen through taking a risk, and that can often be somewhat frightening.

One way to overcome fear with risk taking is to view every new attempt as an experiment. The very best thing with a successful experiment is the opportunity to improve an aspect of your life or relationships.  On the other hand, the good thing with every experiment is the result can never be failure even if the outcome is negative.  Every failed experiment is only temporary and provides feedback that we need to do something different with the next experiment.

TODAY:  Try an experiment in order to improve an area of your life or an aspect of a significant relationship. If successful, great!  If not, view the result as valuable data or information and try something different with a new experiment. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!