Counseling Practice Moving To Carmel

This announcement is to inform everyone that I am moving my counseling practice to Carmel, a northern suburb of Indianapolis.  Shown below is a letter that I am sharing with clients. Dear Clients:

It is with mixed emotions that I am writing to let you know I will be closing my Fort Wayne counseling practice with VonBargen Associates, 1910 St. Joe Center Road, Fort Wayne, on Friday, June 30, 2017.  My wife is retiring in July and we have decided to relocate to Fishers, Indiana.

Although this new transition in our lives was somewhat unexpected, we are feeling very positive about our move to Fishers.  However, it is still with deep sadness that I will close my counseling practice in Fort Wayne. My years have been filled with many enjoyable experiences of helping individuals, couples, and families.

I have greatly valued our relationship.  I also very much enjoyed helping you during my years of practice at VonBargen Associates. I hope and pray that your counseling with me has improved the quality of your life and relationships.

For your information, your records will remain secure and confidential.  If you need to contact me, my cell phone number is 260-348-8777 and my email is info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.

I will continue my counseling practice at 4850 East Main Street, Carmel, Indiana.  I am also excited to announce that I plan to do online counseling starting in July.  Please continue to follow my blog posts as well as read the practical skills I provide under “Categories” on my website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com.

I extend my very best wishes for your future life and relationships!

Sincerely,

Randall A. Schroeder, Ph.D.

Focus On “Three” Daily Goals

On Wednesdays I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Enjoy your life journey by having a purpose for living every single day.  To live with a purpose develop the habit of incorporating “Three Goals.”  The wonderful “Three Goals” to include in your daily routine are: 1) an attitude of gratitude, 2) small, achievable tasks, and 3) serving others.

First, each day recognize what blessings or positives happened even if those good things are very minor. Second, happiness comes from doing and we need to pinpoint what we accomplished each day. Third, Christ came to serve and we follow His footsteps when we serve family members or friends or even strangers.

TODAY:  As your day concludes, identify at least three things for which you are grateful, three small tasks you achieved, and three ways you served others.  (May 24, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Judge But Never Be Judgmental

On Wednesdays I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Judging is an important skill for a healthy life and marriage.  Judging is assessing or evaluating a situation, ourselves, or an important relationship for the sake of improvement.  However, being judgmental is not healthy because the intention is rooted in malice, resulting in arrogance or a pompous spirit just for the sake of feeling superior over someone else.

Hence, it is healthy to regularly judge our personal words and behaviors.  Likewise, in a marriage, a partner may at times assess a spouse or relationship if the goal for that evaluation is improvement.

For example, if a spouse is an alcoholic or has explosive anger, evaluating the situation may correct that unhealthy behavior.  Unfortunately, an alcoholic or raging spouse will often defend themselves by telling their partner, “You are being judgmental.”  However, such an appraisal is not being “judgmental” but instead only an assessment of those unhealthy behaviors with a genuine motive for improvement.

TODAY:  Let’s assess our personal actions, and if married, evaluate our relationship in order to recognize aspects that may need growth and development.  (May 17, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Intimacy Leads To Oneness

On Wednesdays I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. In the Bible, God said “The two will become one.”  The “oneness” or intimacy goal is an essential ongoing process, never a destination.  In healthy marriages, the intimacy feeling regularly happens in a variety of ways:  emotionally, socially, sexually, recreationally, intellectually, physically through touch, sharing of one’s faith, etc. Unfortunately, for struggling couples the “oneness” is usually missing in more than one area of the relationship.

My future Marriage Book describes how to enhance the intimacy in all facets of a marriage.  For now, please evaluate the following intimacy aspects: Understanding and listening closely to your spouse; talking about your faith; enjoying time with other couples; having regular sexual intimacy; doing fun things together; and discussing meaningful topics.

TODAY:  Identify the number one area where you need to improve in order to enhance the “oneness” or intimacy within your marriage and then share that goal with your spouse so you can work together.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Couples Need A Marriage That Grows

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Steve Perry’s song, “Foolish Heart,” begins with the words, “I need a love that grows.”  Likewise, the positive mantra that happy and rewarding couples live by is, “We need a marriage that grows.”

Boredom and monotony can easily jeopardize the future health of every marriage.  Daily, your marriage connection is either constructively increasing or destructively dwindling toward failure.  Work hard and make your marriage a labor of love.  Be open and willing to express regularly the needs and wants you desire for more improvement in your relationship.

TODAY:  Although there are many aspects to every marriage, identify your most important need in one specific area to enhance your relationship.  Perhaps share your goal with the “I” statement, “I wish we could begin strengthening our marriage by . . . . .” (April 19, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

DO A Daily Activity With Your Child

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Like everyone, your child will make mistakes and need discipline but equally important is DOING a regular activity.  Frequently, a child’s disobedience is the result of not enough interaction with their parent.  So DOING a daily or regular activity often will diminish a child’s misbehavior.

DOING an activity with your child increases love and that increases self-respect and that often increases more responsible behavior.  Please evaluate your activity interaction compared to how frequently you find it necessary to discipline your child.

TODAY:  DO an activity with your child:  kick a soccer ball, play a board game, shoot baskets, read a book together, play catch, ride bikes, etc. (March 29, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Improve Life and Relationships: Try An Experiment

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Fear can paralyze us to not make any attempts to improve our lives and relationships.  The nineteenth-century theologian Soren Kierkegaard said, "To dare is to lose one's footing temporarily, to not dare is to lose one's life." So every improvement can only happen through taking a risk, and that can often be somewhat frightening.

One way to overcome fear with risk taking is to view every new attempt as an experiment. The very best thing with a successful experiment is the opportunity to improve an aspect of your life or relationships.  On the other hand, the good thing with every experiment is the result can never be failure even if the outcome is negative.  Every failed experiment is only temporary and provides feedback that we need to do something different with the next experiment.

TODAY:  Try an experiment in order to improve an area of your life or an aspect of a significant relationship. If successful, great!  If not, view the result as valuable data or information and try something different with a new experiment. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

De-stress: What Does It Matter In 5 Years?

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. What was stressful or really bothering you on March 15, 2012?  Or what was stressful during the month of March 2012 or even the entire year of 2012?  I estimate that 95%+ of us cannot remember any specific stressful situations from the month of March 2012.

My point:  Whatever is stressful during this month of March 2017, we will not remember in five years.  Through prayer and with God's help, we will cope and handle the challenging situation just fine.  Most of our problems usually pass, the difficulty generally does not persist and stay with us.

TODAY:  With any stressful challenge ask, "WHAT DOES IT MATTER IN 5 YEARS?" and realize that in March 2022 we will probably have forgotten any concerns from today. (March 15, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Experiences Really Make A Difference

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. A good goal for bringing more joy, contentment, and happiness to our life is to create memorable experiences.  In fact, a research study found that people who spent money on experiences rather than physical things were actually happier than those who focused on purchasing items, whether expensive or inexpensive.  Look back over your life and ask, “What happy moments do I really remember with fondness?”  I think your answer 95%+ of the time will be your individual and relational experiences.

Hence, design memorable experiences both personally and relationally.  Find fresh, exciting individual experiences; create wonderful, new experiences with your spouse; have regular or weekly experiences with your child; and find new sightseeing or vacation experiences. Material things don’t last but memories of experiences last a lifetime.

TODAY:  Begin developing your own list of future experiences that you want to enjoy in life either by yourself or with others. (March 8, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Honor Your Spouse and Others By LISTENING WELL

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. God commands children to “Honor your father and mother” and God tells parents to “not embitter” their children.  What is the very best way to “honor” and “not embitter” a spouse, child, or parent?  LISTEN!  When we listen well to our spouse or anyone, we are honoring them by conveying that “You are my Number One Priority, not just one of my many activities, and I will listen to you!”

Here are some thoughts on how to listen effectively.  Look the person directly in the eyes; ask questions for better understanding; do not interrupt; remove any distractions; suspend any judgment; and summarize often the content of what was said.

TODAY:  Be a wonderful listener throughout the day with everyone and help them feel special, valued, and number one in importance. (March 1, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!